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Petaluma

Best Egg Yokes 1

1. What did the doctor tell the chicken with high cholesterol?
“Try to lay off eggs for a while!”

2. Why did the new egg feel so good?
Because he just got laid!

3. How do chickens stay fit?
They eggs-ercise!

4. Where can you go to learn more about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia!

5. How do you make an egg roll?
Just give it a little push!

6. What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled!

7. What did the egg say after it was ghosted?
Why the hell are you egg-noring me?

8. Why should you be careful about what you say around egg whites?
Everyone knows they can’t take a yolk.

9. What does Mr. Egg say every morning to Mrs. Egg?
“Have an eggs-tra special day!”

10. Why do so many people love a boiled egg for breakfast?
It’s so hard to beat.

11. Did you hear about the hen who laid her egg on an axe?
She wanted to hatchet.

12. What do you call an egg who likes to go on safari?
An eggs-plorer!

13. What did the egg say after someone bumped into her?
Egg-scuse me!

14. Why did it take the chicken so long to cross the road?
There was no eggs-press lane!

15. What’s the worst crime as far as an egg is concerned?
Poaching!

16. What do you call a mischievous egg?
A practical yolker!

17. How does the Easter Bunny feel after she’s made all her deliveries?
Eggs-hausted!

Funniest Egg Puns

When you’re ready to give the jokes a break, I gathered a bunch of puns from around the internet to help make you the life of the party. 

  1. Omelettin’ this slide
  2. Shell shock
  3. Don’t yolk with me
  4. I might whisk it! Whisk it good!
  5. You’re poaching my best yolks
  6. You’re such a rotten egg
  7. Happy Fry-day!
  8. Don’t be such a chicken
  9. You’re so hard-boiled
  10. Are you egg-noring me?
  11. Stay on the sunny side up
  12. That’s cracking
  13. Don’t you like my egg-cellent jokes?
  14. Let’s hatch a plan.
  15. You’re such a practical yolker!
  16. Egg-sactly
  17. Egg-citing
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Petaluma
by
Norman Greenbaum

 

Got chickens in the houses
We got chickens in the trees
Chicken in the pots of all the
Petalumees

Oh, I’m out in Petaluma
Spending my days
Oh, I’m out in Petaluma
Spending my days
Tell me how many eggs will a chicken lay

Oh, Marvin got me started
sold me my first hen
and now I got four and twenty
and twenty-four more again

Oh, I’m out in Petaluma
Spending my days
Oh, I’m out in Petaluma
Spending my days
Tell me how many eggs will a chicken lay

It’s chicken in the morning
It’s chicken in the night
If it weren’t for chicken Petaluma
Never woulda reached its height

Oh, I’m out in Petaluma
Spending my days
Oh, I’m out in Petaluma
Spending my days
Tell me how many eggs will a chicken lay

Best Egg Jokes 2

20. How does the Easter Bunny feel after she’s made all her deliveries?
Eggs-hausted!

21. Why did the egg regret being in an omelet?
It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be!

22. Why did the egg fail its driving test?
He liked to egg-celerate too much!

23. What was the motivation egg speaker’s slogan?
Sunny side up!

24. What did Snow White name her hen?
Egg White!

26. What did the angry hen say to her child?
You’re such a rotten egg!

28. What is an egg’s least favorite day of the week?
Fry-day!

29. Why did the rooster ask the hen out on a date?
He was feeling plucky!

30. What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.

31. What did the egg say after acing its test?
“Omelet smarter than I look!”

35. What’s an egg’s favorite type of coffee?
An eggspresso!

36. Why were the eggs running so fast?
They were afraid of being beaten!

38. How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.

39. Why was the egg late for school?
He didn’t study for the eggs-am.

40. What did the egg say about escaping the chef?
“I might whisk it and run!”

History Of Petaluma Eggs

The highlights of Petaluma’s storied past as a poultry hub.

The Chicken Pharmacy was started in 1923 by James Keyes, featured in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not as the world’s only drugstore devoted to poultry health.

The Petaluma region proved to be an ideal incubator to hatch a thriving egg industry at the turn of the 20th century. After World War II, however, the small family farms were slowly bought out, and the once-proud “Egg Capital of the World” collapsed in the mid-1960s.

In the past 10 years, however, locavore and back-to-the-farm movements have spawned a new generation of egg farmers and fueled a growing demand for healthy, pasture-raised eggs produced by humanely treated chickens, often using organic practices.

Here are the highlights of Petaluma’s storied past as a poultry hub:

1868: Danish immigrant Christopher Nisson arrives and launches a chicken ranch in Two Rock. He goes on to found Petaluma’s Pioneer Hatchery, the first commercial hatchery in the U.S.

1871: Midwesterner Samuel A. Nay buys a 55-acre ranch and becomes
the first to make a success of
chicken-raising in Petaluma.

1878: Canadian Lyman Byce comes to Petaluma to raise chickens and perfects the chick incubator, originally developed by Jewish dentist Dr. Isaac Lopes Dias of Petaluma. By 1897, Byce’s Petaluma Incubator Co. has sold more than 15,000 incubators.

Young egg gatherers at Armstrong's Spring Hill Poultry Farm, 1897.
Young egg gatherers at Armstrong’s Spring Hill Poultry Farm, 1897.

1888: Illinois native John Sales establishes the Sales Hatchery.

Early 1890s: The highly productive Single Comb White Leghorn chicken is introduced into Petaluma, after New York breeder C. H. Wycoff uses selective breeding to produce a small flock that averages 200 eggs a year per chicken.

1898: Southern Californian, Alphonse E. Bourke establishes The Must Hatch Hatchery,   a Petaluma landmark. In 1911, the hatchery produces 1.25 million baby chicks.

 
 

1904: The first local Jewish chicken farmer, Sam Melnick of Lithuania, buys 7 acres near Cotati. By 1925, Sonoma County has 100 poultry-raising families of Jewish descent, with the number eventually growing to between 200 and 300 families. The farmers, known for their socialist politics, had fled Eastern Europe via New York’s Lower East Side, dreaming of escaping urban poverty and working closer to the land.

1906: Bostonian Walter Hogan arrives in Petaluma and shares his poultry-breeding techniques used to identify high-production hens and breeder roosters, and weed out “spent” hens.

1913: D. B. Walls launches a breeding farm, honing a program that kept extensive breeding and laying records. In 1923, he takes first place at the Petaluma Fair with his White Leghorn hen, “Pride of Petaluma.”

 A giant egg basket, symbolic of Petaluma's status as the "World's Egg Basket" and one of the region's largest agricultural industries during the 1920s.
A giant egg basket, symbolic of Petaluma’s status as the “World’s Egg Basket” and one of the region’s largest agricultural industries during the 1920s.

1918: Publicist Bert Kerrigan assures the Petaluma Chamber of Commerce that it should continue to put all of its eggs in one basket and stick with the “little white hen” as its economic focus. At his suggestion, the town launches National Egg Day, with a parade and other activities. The festival continues today as the annual Butter & Egg Days in April.

1923: James Keyes starts the Chicken Pharmacy, which was featured in “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” as the world’s only drugstore devoted to poultry health.

1936: The Great Recession that follows the stock market crash of 1929 puts dozens of Petaluma ranchers out of business. Still, the town continues to serve as the home to a record 6 million hens.

 
 

1941: Sonoma County boasts 4,000 egg farms. By 1945, the region hits its peak production, with 612 million eggs laid that year.

1989: H&N International, the last remaining hatchery in Petaluma, closes.

2002: Mechanization in the industry enables just a few Sonoma companies to produce as many eggs as the industry did during its heyday.

Mid-2000s: Sunrise Farms, co-owned by longtime egg farmer Arnie Riebli, becomes the largest egg producer in the county, turning out 1 million eggs a day.

Sources: “Empty Shells: The Story of Petaluma, America’s Chicken City” by Thea Lowry and “Images of America: Petaluma, California” by Simone Wilson. Photos courtesy Petaluma Historical Library & Museum and “Illustrated Atlas of Sonoma County, California,” by Reynolds and Proctor.

Best Egg Jokes 3

41. How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.

44. Why did the Easter egg hide?
He was a little chicken!

45. What happened to the chicken at school?
He was eggs-pelled!

46. Why did the egg cross the road?
To get to the Shell station!

48. Who tells the best eggs puns?
The comedy-hens!

50. Don’t I have the best egg puns?
I can be a real comedi-hen.

51. Have you done something different with your hair?
You look eggs-traordinary!

54. I saw a sign earlier that said, ‘Free Range Eggs.’ I’ve never heard of Range Eggs before, but at least they were free to take.

55. I’ve decided to put my eggs all in one basket.
I’m just tired of looking silly walking around the supermarket.

56. An egg walked into a bar and cracked a joke.
He left behind a real mess.

57. I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs. Now I can’t find them.
I think they’ve been mislaid.

58. Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.

Things to do in Petaluma

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Best Egg Jokes 4

61. Why did the eggs go to school?
So that they could become egg-ucated.

62. What is an egg’s favorite tree?
The might y-oak.

64. Where do penguins keep all of their chilled eggs?
Inside of an egg-loo.

65. Why did the mother hen rinse out her chick’s mouth with soap?
He was using fowl language.

66. What do you call a city with 25 million eggs?
New Yolk City.

67. Why don’t dinosaurs lay eggs?
They’re egg-stinct.

68. Do you know any good egg jokes?
I’ve got a dozen of ’em.

69. What does a demonic hen lay?
Deviled eggs.

70. A piece of toast and a hard-boiled egg walked into a bar…
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”

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Best Egg Jokes 5

71. What’s a hen’s favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.

73. Who wrote the book Great Egg-spectations?
Charles Chickens.

74. What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.

75. What do you call an egg that refuses to come out of its shell?
An egg-arophobic.

76. Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.

77. How do chickens get stronger and stronger?
They egg-cersize every day.

78. Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yokes!

79. Did you try the digital egg padlock?
It’s very easy to crack the code.

80. Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course?
Because he wanted them par-dboiled.

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